Book Review - The Chimp Paradox

Before I start the book review let me introduce you to my Chimp, Benny. He is a naughty little so and so who loves cake and chocolate and always tries to convince me to eat lots of the stuff!! He also has low self-esteem and worries about what people think of him a lot of the time. But I am working with him on that! 

Now, for those of you who have not read the book, no I haven't gone an bought a pet Chimp and no I haven't lost the plot either! I have, however, come to realise that I am in a much better position to deal with my cravings, urges, insecurities and fears in a more effective manner... By talking to myself... well, my Chimp, Benny.

You see, I love a good analogy, if you have read most my blogs you will see I tend to have a few thrown in some of them. Analogies are how I make sense of the world, when I am trying to understand something and I am struggling or confused by it, I try to think of an analogy that does make sense to me.

In the book The Chimp Paradox, Professor Steve Peters explains how your brain works and uses the analogy of Chimps, Humans, Computers, Gremlins, Goblins, Auto-Pilots and an inner universe with different planets and moons! Sounds complicated? But honestly, as you read it, it all makes sense. The book eases you in gently.

One of the first things you do is to name your Chimp, as I said, mine is called Benny. My husband's is called Tommy. What's funny about this is 'Tom' is actually the name of Mark's Granddad who sadly passed away last year, and Benny, is the name of his Granddad's brother! It's wasn't until we 'introduced our Chimps' that we clicked! How bizarre, but in a good, funny and sort of reassuring way.

The reason you name your Chimp is so you can create a kind of 'detachment' if you like from it. Your Chimp is the highly emotional side of you, and the human is a calm rational side of you. You when you argue with yourself, well that is you, arguing with your Chimp! By having a Chimp you can talk to it, as opposed to yourself!

An example of this was when I was going to Ruth's house to do some training with her before her launch. I was so nervous as it was at her parents house, and I had never met them before! I was worried... Sorry, Benny was worried that her parents wouldn't like him, but because I had started to read the book, I was able to talk to Benny and reason with him. I kid you not, in the car on the way here, this was our conversation!

Benny "Oh my god, what if Ruth's parents think I have conned her, what if they think I am scammer out to get her money, they won't understand I am genuine!"
Me "Benny, it's okay to be nervous, but you know in your heart that you are none of those things, you know in your heart that you are a kind, caring person who just likes to help people"
Benny "But what if they are horrible to me? How am I going to react? What if they hate me? What if I say the wrong thing?
Me "Benny, at the end of the day, you are a nice person, you have an amazing business, and you are genuine. Ruth's parents could be rude and not understand, but I will explain it all and it will be fine. I know you are worried, but let me handle this"

By the time I got to the door I was full of confidence. I went in, met Ruth's parents and they were so lovely! They are so incredibly supportive of Ruth which is amazing - Had I not talked Benny down I would have gone in as a bag of nerves! Ruth's parents of course would have still been lovely, but I would have wasted time and energy fearing something that was just in my head!

I definitely recommend this book to anyone! It really opens up your eyes and makes it so clear, You can tell when someone's Chimp is talking and when their human is talking and it puts you in such a great place to deal with situations. Now when Mark and I talk, if he has had a bad day or experience at work, I can talk to him and his Chimp "Right, Tommy, now it is time for you to exercise, get it off your chest and tell me how you're feeling, but when you're done I would like to speak to Mark!"

There is so much to this book and with each chapter you learn some thing new. You get to learn a new skill or technique for all areas of your life! Both Benny and I loved it. He likes it because I understand him better and I love it because I can MANAGE him better!